


tears and vines

by adamganseys



Series: things you said prompts [2]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Blue Lily Lily Blue - Freeform, Cabeswater Ships It, Canon Divergent, First Kiss, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Missing Scene, Tumblr Prompt, adam is embarrassing, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-28 19:51:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8460781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adamganseys/pseuds/adamganseys
Summary: The turn for Monmouth is about to come up when Adam speaks again. “Do you want me to drop you at Monmouth?” There’s a note of reluctance in Adam’s voice, and that’s when he realizes how very much he wants Ronan to come to his apartment with him, how much he needs his comforting presence after what just happened. Ronan studies him in that intense way of his before replying, “I’d rather just chill at St. Agnes a bit, if that’s cool with you.” (Or, my response to the prompt things you said when you were crying, where Ronan comes to Adam's apartment with him after Robert Parrish's trial)





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is kind of a mess and I got really carried away with it tbh. It started out as just a missing scene to fill in the gaps (because who else finds it fucking ridiculous that the aftermath of Adam's trial wasn't on page, especially the Adam/Ronan/Gansey moment afterwards), without any kissing or anything, but then it turned into this. I don't know how. Also, I've given up on coming up with clever titles. Warning for discussions of abuse and scars. This is also on [tumblr](http://adamparrush.tumblr.com/post/152680812700/8-and-16-pynch-for-the-mini-fics-i).

After the verdict is announced and the trial is over, Adam meets Ronan and Gansey outside the courtroom. Ronan’s whole form is blazing – fists clenched, thin lips in a snarl, eyes shooting sparks. Gansey’s expression is a mixture of anger, wariness, and concern. 

As Adam walks up to them in the hallway, he feels slightly nervous, if only for their reaction to him not telling them about the trial. Ronan had immediately messed up his tie once the trial was over, and Adam finds himself missing the way a cleanly wrapped tie looked against Ronan’s throat and his Aglionby sweater.

 “Hey,” Adam says tentatively when he’s only a foot away, the first words directly spoken between them since they arrived.

“Fucking assholes,” Ronan spits, glaring at the judge and various other officials as they exit the courtroom.

“Don’t,” Adam says immediately, wringing his hands together. He doesn’t want their righteous anger right now. He knows they won’t understand why, to him, it’s still a victory. 

“But Adam, he’s right,” Gansey says. “This is absurd. He should’ve gotten much more than—“

“Gansey, don’t,” Adam snaps, harsher this time. He takes in a deep breath and amends, calmer, “I just… I don’t want to do this right now, okay?” 

Gansey deflates and nods. “Are you going back to school?” 

Adam shakes his head. It was only noon, and now that Gansey and Ronan were here, he supposed he could make the rest of his classes. But he didn’t think he had it in him. The trial and the fear and anxiety leading up to it had drained him. “I got the whole day off."

“I could stay if you—“ Gansey starts. 

“No, you two should get back,” Adam says quickly. They’ve done enough for him. “It’s fine. Really.” 

“You sure?”

Adam nods. He can see Gansey is warring within himself; how badly he wants to talk more to Adam about it, wants to ask him why he didn’t tell them about the trial. He’s relieved when Gansey decides only to nod and say, “Alright. Lynch and I will see you—“ 

“ _Lynch_ ,” Ronan interrupts scathingly, “isn’t going back to school now that he’s gotten out. You go on, Dick. Parrish will give me a ride.” 

Gansey gives Ronan a stern look. “Ronan, you can’t skip more classes after—“

“We got permission for the rest of the day off from the headmaster, did we not?” Ronan says pointedly.

Gansey exhales, running a frustrated hand through his golden hair. It does nothing to mess it up, the strands somehow magically falling back into place. “Yes, we did, but—“

“Goodbye, Gansey,” Ronan says in an unnecessarily loud voice, and puts a casual hand around Adam’s shoulder. “I’ll ride with Parrish.” 

Gansey opens his mouth, closes it, then just shakes his head. After bidding goodbye to Adam, he runs out of the courtroom to make it to his next class. 

Ronan removes his hand from around Adam’s shoulder, then runs it over his buzzed head. “You ready to go?”

Adam crosses his arms over his chest. “I didn’t agree to give you a ride, you know.” Ronan just stares at him, and Adam sighs. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

They make the short walk to the parking lot in silence, and soon they’re seated in the Hondayota and on the road. 

The turn for Monmouth is about to come up when Adam speaks again. “Do you want me to drop you at Monmouth?” There’s a note of reluctance in Adam’s voice, and that’s when he realizes how very much he wants Ronan to come to his apartment with him, how much he needs his comforting presence after what just happened. 

Ronan studies him in that intense way of his before replying, “I’d rather just chill at St. Agnes a bit, if that’s cool with you.” 

Adam has to bite down a smile. “Yeah, sure, whatever.” 

Once they’re inside his apartment, Ronan immediately untucks his shirt and throws his tie onto Adam’s desk. Adam takes off his suit jacket and untucks his shirt as well. He should probably shower; he sweated through his suit and feels dirty for some reason, but he doesn’t have the energy, so he just collapses onto the head of the mattress, leaning against the wall, and after a moment, Ronan joins him. 

It’s silence, silence, silence, before Ronan says, “You’re really okay with this?” 

Adam tenses. “Ronan—“ 

“I’m not trying to—I just want to know, okay? Are you okay with it?” 

Adam thinks about the piece of paper that says _Robert Parrish: Guilty; Adam Parrish: Free_. 

“Yes,” Adam says, and he means it. 

Adam can see a retort on Ronan’s tongue, can see him struggling to clamp down just how much he himself _isn’t_ okay with it, and for once, he actually stays quiet. That’s what prompts Adam to keep going. 

He looks down at his hands as he talks. “I… when I was back at the trailer, I knew that all the neighbors noticed. They saw my bruises, even heard my father yelling loudly at night. But they didn’t say anything. Not to me or to my parents or to the police or—I thought… I thought it was because they believed that I deserved it. For so long, I believed that, too.”

He stops and lets out a shuddering breath, his hands clutching each other so tightly that it hurts. He realizes that he’s crying. It’s a quiet kind of crying, the kind that’s only evident in the few tears rolling down your cheeks and nothing else.

Ronan had moved closer to him, their now shoulders pressed together. “Adam…”

Adam shakes his head, wiping his cheeks with the heels of his palms. “It’s okay. I’m just trying to say—all I needed was this. For him to be declared guilty. So I knew, without a doubt, that it wasn’t my fault. That I was right and he was wrong. And I got that. That… that’s all I wanted.” 

He’s still crying, relief and happiness and sadness and anger pouring out of him all at once. Mostly the former two, but he can’t help the tangle of the sadness and anger in between. He feels like they’re always there when he thinks about his father, no matter what. 

He feels an arm wrap around his shoulder, hesitant, warm. Adam lifts his face to look at Ronan, who is much closer than Adam remembers. 

“Okay,” Ronan says simply, then wipes a stray tear with the pad of his thumb, shockingly gentle.

Adam turns away and rubs his eyes aggressively, suddenly embarrassed. “Sorry,” He mutters. 

“Don’t be,” Ronan says, earnest. “Besides, it’s not like it’s the first time I’ve seen you cry.”

Adam raises an eyebrow. 

Ronan smirks, sharp and wicked. “Don’t try to tell me you didn’t cry when you found out I was at the top of Latin over you.”

Adam huffs out a laugh, swatting at Ronan’s shoulder. “You _asshole_.” 

“Come on, man, I was there the day they announced it. Your eyes were definitely red.” 

“You’re such a dick,” Adam says, smiling. 

“You’re mistaking me for Gansey,” Ronan says.

Adam makes sure to roll his eyes in the most exaggerated and disdainful manner possible at Ronan’s overused joke. Ronan just grins. 

There’s a weighted silence, and then, “Why didn’t you tell us? About today?”

Adam squirms, not wanting to put his probably absurd line of thinking into words. “It was stupid,” Adam mumbles.

“No shit,” Ronan scoffs. “But why?”

Adam sighs, leaning back and lightly banging his head against the wall. “I didn’t want either of you – or anyone, really – to remember this part of me. I thought if you guys weren’t there, then maybe you wouldn’t…” He sighs louder, closing his eyes. “I don’t know. I don’t know, okay? Like I said, I was being stupid.” 

Ronan doesn’t say anything for a long moment, and then, “You’re right, you are stupid.” Adam opens his eyes just to give him a withering look. Ronan clarifies, “You’re stupid for thinking that there’s any part of you we wouldn’t want to remember.”

Adam’s throat suddenly feels too thick. He opens his mouth but no words come out.

“Well, maybe except for the part of you that hates the Murder Squash Song. That’s fucking shameful and should be hidden from everyone.” 

Adam lets out a surprised laugh and averts his gaze. “Fuck you, that song is a disease to all mankind and needs to be eradicated.” 

“It’s a _masterpiece_ , Parrish, how dare you.”

Adam just shakes his head fondly and bumps his shoulder to Ronan’s, smiling at him gratefully. Ronan returns the smile, and Adam’s heart starts beating faster when he realizes it’s one of Ronan’s loose, unshielded smiles. 

Ronan’s hand is still on his shoulder, and Adam can feel the heat from his hand on his skin even through the thickness of his shirt.

Adam’s eyes go down to Ronan’s lips, then back up. He watches as Ronan’s expression falters, fear and uncertainty slithering into it as the other boy realizes how close they are and how long they’ve been staring at each other.

Somehow, Adam’s mind clears. He slowly leans in, until their foreheads are touching, until he can feel Ronan’s uneven breathing on his face. Ronan’s eyes are wide in shock. Adam can count every one of his eyelashes. 

Before he can overthink it, Adam leans forward and kisses him. It’s a chaste kiss, closed mouth and tentative, only lasting a handful of seconds, but Adam feels it everywhere. Ronan’s breathing is labored when it’s over, and then Adam is leaning in again, kissing him harder. Ronan responds for a few wonderful moments, before he’s breaking away and moving himself away from Adam on the mattress. It’s small, so he doesn’t go far, but Adam feels the loss of his lips and touch like there’s an ocean’s worth of distance between them.

Adam's suddenly afraid he’s crossed a line. “What’s wrong? I—I thought you wanted…”

Ronan shakes his head, and Adam’s stomach bottoms out. It’s hard to breathe until Ronan says, voice shaking, “Parrish. You—you’ve had to deal with a lot of shit today, and you’re upset, so maybe we should—“

“No,” Adam interrupts. “I’m not upset. That’s not why I—“ He breaks off, frustrated with words. He moves closer to Ronan, taking the other boy’s hands in his own, making Ronan’s inhale sharply. He’s looking at their joined palms when he says, “I want this. I… I wanted to do that. Okay?”

He finally looks up, at Ronan’s hopeful yet anxious face. His thumb brushes the vein on the inside of Ronan’s wrist, making him shiver and his eyelashes flutter. Ronan looks so vulnerable right then – eyes hooded, brows furrowed, lips parted, cheeks lightly flushed. Adam leans in closer so his mouth is only inches away from Ronan’s.

“Ronan,” Adam says, almost a whisper. “I want this.”

Ronan swallows audibly and slowly brings Adam’s hands to his lips in the small space between them, lips lightly brushing Adam’s knuckles. Adam’s breath catches.

Ronan’s voice is low and gravelly. “If you’re sure.” 

Adam nods, and then kisses him. This time it’s less tentative, more hungry. His hands break away from Ronan’s and instead clutch the sides of Ronan’s face. His thumb presses into Ronan’s jaw and his tongue licks the seam of Ronan’s mouth, making Ronan part his lips in response. When his tongue brushes Ronan’s, he can’t help the noise that comes from somewhere low in his throat. He’d be embarrassed if Ronan hadn’t made a very similar noise at the same time.

Ronan pulls away to catch his breath, pressing his face into Adam’s neck, almost nuzzling into it as he breathes deeply. Adam’s hand comes up to stroke the fuzz at the back of his head. Ronan sighs at the sensation. 

It takes a while for Ronan’s breathing to sound normal again, and when he finally pulls back, Adam asks, a laugh in his voice, “You okay?” 

Ronan rolls his eyes at Adam’s smug tone. “Just peachy, Parrish, thanks for the concern.” 

“Just looking out for you,” Adam quips.

“I’m touched.” 

They stare at each other for a long moment, and before it can get awkward, Adam gets up on his knees and throws a leg over Ronan’s lap, straddling him.

Or, maybe that just made things more awkward. 

Ronan’s eyes are wide as he looks up at Adam, and Adam brushes his lips with Ronan’s in a whisper of a kiss before asking quietly, “This okay?”

In response Ronan kisses him harder, hands finally leaving where they were gripping the sheets and moving to Adam’s lower back, tentatively sliding under his shirt to touch the bare skin of his back. Adam shivers into his mouth, his hands tightening on the nape of Ronan’s neck, lips moving desperately against the other boy.

Adam’s hand moves down to Ronan’s shoulder and upper chest, and he thinks about grabbing his Aglionby tie and pulling him even closer, until his fingers reach the space where the tie should have been and he remembers that Ronan had taken it off. 

He breaks off in frustration and runs a hand through his dusty hair.

Ronan’s voice is concerned. “Parrish?” 

Adam looks at Ronan’s wide pupils, his sharp jaw. They’re both breathing hard. His fingers play with the collar of Ronan’s shirt. 

“You know,” Adam murmurs, sliding his thumb up and down the soft material of Ronan’s shirt, “It wouldn’t kill you to wear your tie properly even when we’re not in a courtroom.”

Ronan lets out a surprised laugh. “Really, Parrish? A properly knotted tie? That’s what turns you on?” 

Adam can feel his ears turn pink. “That’s not what I—fuck off, Lynch.”

“Hey, man, I’ll wear my tie perfect to a fucking T every single day if it means you’ll kiss me again.”

Underneath his joking, nonchalant tone, Adam can hear real insecurity.

Adam lifts his gaze and kisses Ronan again, quickly. “You don’t need to do that for me to kiss you again,” Adam says firmly. “I plan on doing that regardless.”

Ronan’s face flits through several expressions before settling on a grin.

“Although I _could_ deal with you in a tie more often. You know, if I had to.”

Ronan’s grin widens. “I’m sure I could make more of an effort for it occasionally.” 

“And I mean, a suit to match with that would also be a nice touch.”

Ronan scoffs. “Don’t push your luck, Parrish.”

Adam shrugs, smiling sheepishly. “Had to try it.”

Ronan shakes his head, his lips turning up in a small, fond smile. Then, eyeing his shirt, “You clean up well yourself.”

Adam tries to come up with a witty retort, but fails, heat spreading through his cheeks. “Thanks,” Adam manages, voice strained. 

Adam takes a deep breath and then slides his hands under Ronan’s Aglionby sweater, lifting it up to his chest, looking at Ronan with a question in his eyes. 

Ronan mutters something under his breath – Adam thinks he hears the words _Jesus_ and _Mary_ – and then he has the sweater off, leaving him in a crisp white shirt. Adam doesn’t hesitate before undoing the buttons at the top, sliding his hand underneath to feel the warm skin below Ronan’s neck, his collarbone.

He leans in and trails kisses from Ronan’s jaw to his ear, tongue darting out to suck on the spot just below it, making Ronan hiss, his breathing uneven. Adam goes from his ear to his throat, leaving small kisses down the long line of it and then his teeth grazing his collarbone, all while his fingers deftly unbutton Ronan’s shirt completely. When all the buttons are undone, Adam pulls away momentarily to take the shirt off him, Ronan complying easily.

Then Ronan’s bare chest is in front of him, and Adam has to take a moment to just stare at it. Ronan is all hard muscle and interesting angles, and Adam wants to touch and taste every inch of him. 

“Adam,” Ronan’s hesitant voice breaks Adam out of his lust-filled haze. 

Ronan is looking at him a little nervously, his hands now at the front of Adam’s shirt, lifting it up lightly.

“Oh,” Adam breathes once he realizes what Ronan is asking. “Um. Okay.” 

“Are you—?”

“Yeah.” Adam lifts his arms and Ronan starts taking his shirt off. It shortly gets stuck, though, and Adam can’t get his head or arms through. 

Adam laughs lightly as Ronan struggles to get it off. “Smooth, Lynch.” His voice is muffled from underneath the shirt. 

“Not my fault your head’s the size of a fucking watermelon and can’t fit through this thing.”

“My head isn’t the problem. This is why you unbutton some of it _before_ you lift it up.” 

“Well, jeez, sorry Einstein.” 

They finally manage to get it off, and then they’re both shirtless. Ronan stares at Adam’s chest with such intensity that Adam feels the urge to cover it up. He lifts up a hand and hovers it over Adam’s shoulder, looking at Adam for permission. Adam nods. 

Ronan’s fingers start at Adam’s left shoulder, thumb tracing over the cluster of freckles below his collarbone, then find the scar from a beer bottle right beneath it. Ronan’s fingers still on the scar, and Adam is afraid that this is it, that Ronan will recoil away from how ugly and scarred and broken he is, but Ronan just looks up at him with a complicated expression. Adam stares back.

Adam hopes Ronan won’t say anything, because he doesn’t think he can take it – where it’s sympathy or pity or curiosity or something else. He knows that Ronan won’t have to ask about where they came from. 

After a moment, Ronan continues his exploration of Adam’s skin, his hand traveling over his chest while his other hand loosely rests on Adam’s lower back. Adam’s breath hitches when Ronan’s fingers pass over his nipple, his muscles tense and relax as they touch the soft skin of his stomach. Ronan makes his way back up when he reaches his navel, and Adam is almost disappointed.

The whole thing is a lot slower and gentler than Adam expected, Ronan seeming to drink him in with his eyes, his gaze and touch reverent in a way Adam’s never experienced. Ronan’s hands are so warm, so Adam doesn’t know why he’s shivering the way he is.

When both of Ronan’s hands are at Adam’s shoulders, thumbs rubbing circles into the skin, Ronan mutters while still staring at his chest, almost to himself, “I didn’t think that you had this much muscle.” 

Adam’s voice is light and breathy. “You’ve thought about me shirtless, have you, Lynch?” 

Ronan holds his gaze. “More times than I can count, Parrish.”

Adam hates that he blushes, but he does, and then Ronan’s lips are on his shoulder. Adam gasps at the sensation, at the way Ronan’s lips are leaving featherlight kisses from his collarbone to his nipple, tongue swirling over it. 

“God,” Adam whispers. 

“That’s blasphemous,” Ronan murmurs as he kisses Adam’s neck, who tilts his head back to give him better access.

Ronan mouthing at the sensitive spot below his ear is too much, as is the way he says _Adam_ into it quietly, as if he can’t believe this is happening. 

That’s when he feels something wrapping around his arms where they’re snaked around Ronan’s neck. Ronan mumbles _the fuck_ into Adam’s cheek, and when he pulls back, Adam notices the vines seemingly growing from his hands.

“Oh, fuck,” Adam mutters, panicking. Then, louder, gaze traveling around the room to see if anything else was affected, “Cabeswater, what the hell?”

Ronan’s mouth is parted in confusion and surprise. “Cabeswater is doing this?”

Adam huffs, trying to disentangle his hands from the vines. “What else?”

“Why? Is it— _oh._ ” Ronan’s grin is positively sinful as he notices the tiny white flowers sprouting from the sheets next to them and realizes the reason for their appearance. 

Adam’s face is aflame. “Shut up, Lynch. It just—Cabeswater just—it does this, sometimes, when I’m… when I…” 

“When you’re turned on?” Ronan supplies. 

He turns even redder. “ _No_ , god, shut up. You asshole.”

Ronan laughs, and it’s bright and joyous and like light made into sound. Adam’s eyes catch on how pretty Ronan’s mouth looks when he’s laughing, and suddenly there are tiny roses sprouting from his lips that immediately fall off when he sputters. 

“Jesus Christ,” Ronan says, wiping his mouth. “What the fuck.”

Adam groans and covers his face with his hands, embarrassment filling him everywhere. “Oh my god. I can’t believe this.” 

“You didn’t finish your sentence, you know. Cabeswater does this when you…”

Adam removes his hands from his face and sighs, relenting only because he knows Ronan will never let it go until he tells him. He scratches the back of his neck and admits, “When… when my emotions are… are _heightened_ or whatever. I mean, Cabeswater protected me once by attacking my dad when he came over—“ 

“He came over here? When?” Ronan growls, all mirth disappearing, suddenly furious. 

“Hey,” Adam says softly. “It’s okay. He didn’t hurt me.”

“When?” Ronan repeats, stubborn.

“Right after we… in the church. I came up here and took a shower and then…” Adam swallows, remembering the debilitating fear he felt when he opened the door and his father was on the other side.

“Jesus. I made you leave and then he—Jesus.”

Adam isn’t in the mood to deal with Ronan’s unnecessary guilt, so he catches Ronan’s face in his hands and tells him, “Don’t do that. I told you. It’s over. So just forget it.” 

Ronan does his smokers breath, getting himself together, and then nods. Adam drops his hands. “Okay. Okay.” 

“As I was saying… that was a rare situation, usually it’s a lot milder. It does stuff like this when I’m… you know… just feeling a lot… about… things. Like when I’m especially happy or—“ He breaks off, biting his lip and looking down.

Ronan’s hand comes up to stroke Adam’s jaw, and when Adam looks at him, his lips are turned up just a little. “Feeling a lot about things… and people?” 

Adam swallows, flushing ever deeper. “And people,” he confirms.

Ronan’s answering smile is blinding. He kisses Adam, slow and sweet, and Adam is both surprised and thankful that Cabeswater doesn’t make any more flowers appear around them. Maybe it thinks that he’s had enough embarrassment for one day. 

They kiss for a little while longer, Adam finally getting to explore the expanse of Ronan’s chest as well, and then Adam pulls away, leaning his forehead against Ronan’s, catching his breath. 

He removes himself from Ronan’s lap and lies down on his back, a smile etched onto his face that just won’t go away. After a second, Ronan lies down next to him, his fingers traveling down Adam’s inner arm and finally intertwining with his. 

When Adam turns his head to look at Ronan, the other boy is already looking back. 

“Hey,” Adam says softly. “I’m glad you didn’t go to Monmouth.”

Not just because of what happened between them, but for the comfort Ronan always brings him regardless. For the hand around his shoulder. For the thumb wiping the tear under his eye. 

The trial still overwhelms him and he thinks he’ll feel close to breaking for a couple days even if he’s satisfied with the result. But mostly he’s just thankful that he’s _free, free, free_ and that Ronan is here beside him. 

“Me too,” Ronan says. 

Adam rolls onto his side and sidles closer to the other boy. Ronan presses a gentle kiss to his forehead, and Adam smiles, squeezing Ronan’s hand that is still laced with his own.

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, this fandom collectively did not take advantage of the ~Cabeswater goes haywire and grows plants and flowers all over the place whenever Adam is Feelings Things~ trope enough before TRK came out, so this is me attempting to make up for it. I know I've written the whole "Ronan sees Adam shirtless for the first time and is super gentle and Adam gets emotional" thing a million times already but.... oh well. I never get tired of it.
> 
> Furthermore: "Behind him was Ronan Lynch, his damn tie knotted right for once and his shirt tucked in." You can't tell me Adam doesn't have A Thing for Ronan's tie and Ronan in a suit. 
> 
> Kudos and comments would be super appreciated. Find me on tumblr and twitter @adamparrush.


End file.
